Douche of the Week: Michael Buble

Maybe it was his lame renditions of classic songs already made famous by more talented people. Or maybe it was the fact that he talks a lot of shit for a porky Canadian kid. But most likely it was the rumored infidelity that finally convinced Emily Blunt (Devil Wears Prada, The Jane Austin Book Club) to drop Michael Buble like a fat chick letting lose on a Friday night.

In response to his recent breakup, the 33-year old singer said: "I'll go home and I'll curl up in a ball and I'll cry. I'm not kidding. I'll just cry." DOUCHE BAG!

According to Lainey Gossip, Buble was accused of cheating on Blunt (in her own bed) with another woman who had photographic evidence. And now that he's single, Buble has been gallivanting around town with tons of different women. He probably uses the above mentioned quote as a line on girls - and somehow it works. Which brings me back to this post...

RIP Paul Newman

(January 26, 1925 – September 26, 2008)

Better Days...

Do you remember when Amy Winehouse looked like this:

















...Cause now she looks like this.


Amy Winehouse is reportedly facing assault charges after punching a fan in the face. The fan allegedly asked for a photograph with the crackie, when she punched her in the face then ran off saying "Life can’t go on. I can’t do this any more"

I have $20 on New Years...

The First Townhall Meeting: On the Subject of Douchebags

Ok ladies, get a chair... its time we discussed the most recent trend in masculinity: the Douchebag.

When did this phenomena start, and how did the douche gain so much power? Who the hell knows, one thing is for sure: the more you fall for the 'bags' tactics.. the more power they get. So ladies - stop sexing "those guys". This includes sleeping with them, flirting with them, talking to them - or more generally, acknowledging their existence. Its like disciplining a toddler - acknowledging their bad behavior only encourages it. So please, for the good of womanhood - stop fucking those guys!

Check this out: Waxing Ideas

This hilarious doodle-post comes from The Sneeze. More doodles on the site.

The Thinking Woman's Sex Symbol: Bret McKenzie

Who: Bret McKenzie, plays "Bret" on Flight of the Conchords (a.k.a. rhymenocerous)
What: Musician, actor, producer, writer and comedian
Where: born 29 June 1976 in New Zealand. Currently lives in LA, although Flight takes place in NY
Why: He's funny, musical and all-over talented - he also loves to dance. Observe the attached video for scientific evidence

Welcome to Really? Him?!? A weekly feature were the V examines former sex symbols. On today's chopping block: David Bowie.

Ch-ch-changes...

David Bowie - born David Robert Jones on 8 January 1947.

Bowie skyrocketed to fame in '69 with Space Oddity. In '72, he reemerged as Ziggy Stardust - the androgynous, flamboyant and spandex loving glam rocker.

Bowie is also known for declaring his bisexuality, retracting the statement, then reinstating it. He is currently married to supermodel Iman.

So what is it? Is David Bowie sexy....?

Oddly enough, I know tons of women with a thing for David Bowie. My roommate, for one, would love nothing more then a Bowie Tie (which is a pearl necklace with more glitter).

VERDICT: Sexy in an "I'll try anything once" kind of way.

OMG

I think its about time Aretha retires those spaghetti strap tops - those poor straps must have the structural integrity of the Golden Gate bridge.

Her breasts are so big, if you were to motorboat you'd fall into the abyss and never find your way out of the darkness - which is a better option then pulling your face out of her cleave. The pressure alone would suck your eyeballs out as though you had just taken off your space helmet in an oxygen-free environment (see clip below).

Also, is there a pendant on the end of that necklace? After tonight, it could likely use a good polish. Normally, it takes a hockey team of jacked-up pubescent boys to make a pearl necklace that long.

In a completly unrelated Aiken post

Does anyone else see it?
(Left: Singer Clay Aiken, Right: Keebler elf)

Breaking (and incredibly obvious) News: The Gayken comes out!

The least surprising news you've ever heard was release today - Clay Aiken is gay. The singer released the information in an interview with People magazine, saying: "Yes, I'm Gay. I cannot raise a child to lie or hide things."

Aiken appears on the cover with his newborn son, Parker Foster Aiken. Parker was born on August 8 in North Carolina to Aiken's good friend Jaymes Foster, 50.

V Thang's First Douche of the Week!

With the season premier of Heroes last night, I've decided to give this honorary title to Milo Ventimiglia - actor, music video boyfriend, and child lover. The 31-year-old actor is dating his Heroes co-star Hayden Panettiere. The couple started dating when Hayden was 18, although rumors of their bumping uglies starting while she was still 17... (ewww).

Poor Hayden, Milo is about as sexy as your pervy gym teacher who taps asses a little too much.

Douche of the Century: a John Mayer timeline

Remember when John Mayer was a sweet and sensitive songwriter? What the hell happened? And how did he manage to conceal his douchiness for so long? Over the last year or so, Mayer's twatty behavior has grown exponentially - observe the following scientific data:

I'm almost proud of him - he managed to concel his love of 'jeggarbombs' and 'banging chicks' long enough to emphasize his romantic artsy side to his legions of fans. Now, all the golden showers in the world couldn't wash this image of JM off for fans.