Nuthin' but a 'V' thang

Victoria's Secret: She has no belly button!

2008-11-20T18:37:00.001-08:00

Victoria Secret model Karolina Kurkova has no belly button - apparently she only has an indentation. As such, belly buttons are often added in post via photoshop - and now everyone in the world knows about her freaky secret. You will never look at a Victoria's Secret catalog the same way again.

2008-11-20T18:29:00.000-08:00

Douche of the Week: Me for not posting - I'm sorry....

2008-11-17T19:32:00.000-08:00

Classic Chappelle - Purple Drink

2008-11-17T19:17:00.000-08:00

Chris Klein update 2008: Working a few craptaular movies, dating Gennifer Goodwin from Big Love, and looking terrible... I almost don't blame Katie Holmes for trading him in for a closeted alien lover.

"We Want You" to be Gay!

2008-11-12T17:46:00.001-08:00

Gay Magazine (based out of the UK) hired an advertising firm to design ads to persuade (or recruit?) straight men into homosexuality. Here are a few...

Nothing like a seaman to get the forces out.

These women represent your choice - which is why you should be gay. Although its offensive to women - its also effective. If I was a gay woman, it would turn me straight.

"Guy minds think alike," except this guy wants beer while the other wants tea..bagging. Not exactly the same thought.

This one lists it reasons - among them: "Because men improve with age"

"Because responsibility is easy to avoid"
"Because beards and chest hair are sexy. But not on women"
"Because women need a reason to have sex. Men need a place"

"Anything she can do..."
This one is the winner - crude, creative and funny. Well played sir... well played.

2008-11-11T10:57:00.000-08:00

The Horror!

This beautiful specimen is Sumanee Guna-Kasem, a Thai socialite and Hello Magazine Talk of the Town award recipient.

A Very Bad Idea: Family DUIs!

2008-11-11T10:08:00.000-08:00

Indiana State police arrested a 24-year-old woman
for driving drunk with her one year old child seated in the family minivan.

When cops called the husband to pick up the child at the station - he also arrived intoxicated. The cops arrested the man on a drunken driving charge.

Later, the police went down the line and called the grandparents, who had also been drinking. Since the grandmother was under the legal limit, she was granted custody of the child and escorted home by police.

2008-11-10T16:19:00.000-08:00

Wow - this image will haunt my dreams...

Hoax of the Week

2008-11-10T15:11:00.000-08:00

So, for some time now, I have been a fan of an indie-musical-comedy act known as Nirvana the Band Show, which stars two guys from Toronto. One of which is Jay McCarrol (with one L).

Well, after Obama's election, The Daily Beast -a wannabe Huffington Post - featured an article on potential gowns Michelle Obama could wear to her husband's inauguration, as designed by Project Runway participants and winners. It turns out the Daily Beast's fall intern is not as efficient in the art of internet research as others, because the wrong McCarroll was sought and found. Using an online search, the Beast found and solicited Jay McCarrol (one L - of Nirvana the Band Show fame) to design a dress ---- and he did! Well, he got his 20-year-old friend from Ryerson to design it. The picture was picked up by several outlets, including Jezebel, Us Weekly, and was even mentioned by the creative director of Barneys (who praised the burlap sack-dress).

McCarrol also included an artist's statement alongside the dress sketch:

"From concept to cut this dress is symbolic of the new found responsibilities we as Americans have attained in light of our country's economic crisis. The idea is simple, we as Americans need to live within our means, get back to basics, and rebuild a solid foundation to live upon."

McCarrol then added, "God bless America bitches."

To be fair, McCarrol's website has no mention of Project Runway, and even posts his picture! McCarrol is 24, McCarroll is 34 - big difference.

Left: Jay McCarroll, Project Runway, Right: Jay McCarrol, Nivana The Band Show

A Canadian Police Chase

2008-11-10T11:13:00.000-08:00

A funny commercial from Midas:

2008-11-10T06:21:00.000-08:00

It's Jazzercise! The originator of Jazz hands, and the most flamboyant way to get into shape.

Popo assaulted with Dildo!

2008-11-09T18:00:00.000-08:00

A police office in New South Wales was assaulted by a 22-year-old man carrying a dildo as a weapon. The man walked up to a police officer, sitting in his squad car minding his own business, when BAM - dildo to the face! The Po' was uninjured in the attack, while the young man was arrested. In order to create a visual for my readers, I've doctored a photo depicting two gentlemen.

Christmas Shopping Ideas

2008-11-09T17:24:00.000-08:00

Need gift ideas for Christmas? This year, give the lonely spinster in your life a gift that keeps on giving: the Cuddle Pillow Boyfriend. The pillow features an arm that will gently cuddle the loveless loser without quietly leaving in the morning or passing along an STD. And its only $19.95! Buy now, thank me later.

See Below...

2008-11-06T18:31:00.000-08:00

One Tough Bitch!

2008-11-06T18:19:00.000-08:00

A jogger in Arizona was minding her business, enjoying a morning run, when a rabid fox jumped out and bit her arm. Curious to know if the fox had rabies, this bitch ran a full mile with the fox locked onto her arm until she reached her car, where she pried the fox off and threw it in the trunk. She then drove to the hospital to have the fox tested for rabies. The woman and fox, although not on speaking terms, are both in the hospital receiving rabies vaccinations.

Meanwhile, I woke up at noon and watched a rerun on Seinfeld.

2008-11-05T19:05:00.000-08:00

John Cryer, a.k.a. Duckie from Pretty in Pink (1986), currently stars as Alan on the pseudo-amusing sit-com Two and a Half Men. The craptacular show has help Cryer regain some fame, and as a result he will soon star in several new feature films, including Stay Cool with Winona Ryder and Hillary Duff.

The Horror...

2008-11-05T18:57:00.000-08:00

Amy Winehouse must be the ugliest thing caught on camera since undated photos of the "Chupacabra" circulated the internet. Here she is after beating down paparazzi (for the umpteenth time this year) the night her beloved Blaaake-incarcerated was released from prison.

Best caption of the night, Michael K's: "Maybe she's born with it...Maybe it Crackaline."

Its now time for -- A Very Bad Idea with Heidi Klum!

2008-11-04T18:28:00.000-08:00

It seems as though Heidi Klum's Halloween costume has upset a few people. This year, she dressed up as a Hindu god (great idea... ) and upset many Hindus in the process. Several prominent Hindu leaders are asking for an apology.

Not only did Klum go as someone's God... she went as a pretty sacrilegious version too.

View photo below....

2008-11-02T18:28:00.000-08:00

Mark-Paul Gosselaar, a.k.a. Zack Morris, can currently be seen in Raising the Bar (some show about a law firm)

PALIN - DROME

2008-11-02T18:24:00.001-08:00

Valuable advice in palindrome form from vice-presidential hopeful, Sarah Palin.

The downfall of naked decorating

2008-10-31T17:15:00.000-07:00

The Sun reports that a 50-year-old clergyman had to undergo emergency surgery in order to remove a potato from his ass. The embarrassed reverend explained the accident was not a sexual experiment gone wrong. Instead, he claims he was hanging curtains in his kitchen while nude, lost his balance and fell backward onto the potato... classic excuse.

I've often heard from nurses that "Ass Boxes" actually exist - that is, objects retrieved from the posterior cavity of freaky people (i.e. Richard Gere). A physician from the admitting hospital revealed other objects found in the ass box (not from the same vicar). They include - a can of deodorant, a cucumber, a Russian doll and a carnation.

Seinfeld "Assman" clip - a million to one shot, doc:

How do you like them Pumpkins: Why your pumpkin is lame

2008-10-31T16:53:00.001-07:00

The traditional triangle-eyed and crooked smile pumpkin face has nothing on this guy's work.

Quote of the Week: Paris Hilton, Space Cadet

2008-10-30T18:11:00.000-07:00

NASA continues to examine the state of new strains of viral diseases in space. On that note, Paris Hilton may be the first space-whore to travel on Virgin's (haha, the irony) Enterprise Rocket. She recently said:

"What if I don't come back? With the whole light-years thing, what if I come back 10,000 years later, and everyone I know is dead? I'll be like, 'Great. Now I have to start all over.'"

If this is her wedding day, what will her wedding night look like?

2008-10-30T17:33:00.000-07:00

Sixteen year-old Missy Quinn was recently married to her 17 year-old boyfriend, Thomas, in a £100,000 wedding. Her dad, pictured below, paves driveways for a living - but managed to save up for his daughters wedding. He said, "it was worth every penny."

Missy left school at the age of 9 and travelled with her family across Europe in a Caravan (I suspect the kind Brat Pitt inhabits in Snatch). She met her husband at an amusement park when she was 13.

In total, the £100,000 covered (taken from Dlisted.com):

Missy's luxurious two-piece wedding gown: £16,000

Missy's gorgeous crystal bouquet: £500

The outfits worn by some of the babies at the wedding: £300

One of the guests' hot pants and bra ensemble: £700

Missy and Thomas' new trailer, a gift by her parents: £18,000

Sexy, yet elegant...

The Bride's 33-year old mom, 17-year of husband, and 35-year old father.

Bridesmaids - or blue puffy balls o' chola

Fur coat... nice touch

Garter belt on a 1o-year old - R. Kelly must be taking a long cold shower

A Must Watch: Wassup 2008

2008-10-26T17:28:00.001-07:00

Remember those Bud/Wassup videos from a few years back? A new political parody featuring the same actors as the original has been released by the website 60frames. Below is the original Wassup video.

Puff, Puff, Dash

2008-10-26T17:18:00.000-07:00

Miss Teen Louisiana USA, Lindsey Evans - was busted by the popos when she tried to dine and dash. Her fool-proof plan ran into some trouble when she realized she left her purse at the scene of the crime. Inside her purse? A bag of weed...

By the time she returned to the restaurant to reclaim her purse etc., the police had already been contacted. They recognized her right away and arrested her. Unfortunately, Evans lost her crown due to the mess only 11 days before her term was to end. No word if she has been contacted by Donald Trump.

2008-10-26T16:27:00.000-07:00

Cary Elwes - also known as Westley from the Princess Bride - turns 46 today! Since the high point of his career, circa '87 to '93, Elwes has appeared in several films such as Saw, Ella Enchanted, Factory Girl, some tv movie about the Pope, and Georgia Rule. Despite a slow point in his career, it looks like Elwes might be able to move out of his box with the completetion of a few new movies.

McCain photo-op v2.0

2008-10-23T19:15:00.000-07:00

I'm not falling for that one...

2008-10-23T18:44:00.000-07:00

The old "Financial compensation for drug use" line.. oldest trick in the book.

Image: Scanned copy of advertisement found in Metro News, Wednesday October 22, 2008.
"Healthy Men and Women 18 to 55 years of age, with recreationaal druge experience are needed to participate in a clinical research study.

'If you use depressants (downers, barbituates, GHB, benzodiazepines, roofies, cannabis) and opiates (hydromorphone, oxycodone, morphine), contact us today to see if you qualify.

Financial compensation up to $4,255."

My Advice to McCain

2008-10-23T18:18:00.001-07:00

My advice to McCain - don't pose like this:

...Or I'll have to do this...

PALIN - DROME

2008-10-23T16:48:00.000-07:00

Valuable advice in palindrome form from vice-presidential hopeful, Sarah Palin.

You know you're Canadian when....

2008-10-20T18:34:00.000-07:00

When you accidentally call Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin Sarah Polley on more then one occasion - which is less an insult to Polley's intelligence as it is a testament to my fond childhood memories of Road to Avonlea.

2008-10-20T18:26:00.000-07:00

As I'm sure you've seen already - this Sarah Palin skit is hilarious (even though she sits there and does nothing)

Reason No.2 Wahlberg is a Douche

2008-10-18T21:21:00.000-07:00

Mark Wahlberg recently appeared on Jimmy Kimmel, and revealed exactly how unfunny he found last week's SNL skit. For a man who has made a career out of dropping his pants, he has no sense of humour.

2008-10-13T17:49:00.000-07:00

When I hear the word Shenanigans - I can't help but to think of this clip.

The Secret to a Long Life - Hint: You've f**ked it up already

2008-10-13T17:37:00.000-07:00

Clara Meadmore is 105 years old - and a virgin. She credits her virginity as the reason behind her old age. On the subject of sex, the retired secretary says:

"I imagine there is a lot of hassle involved and I have always been busy doing other things.

"When I was a girl you only had sex with your husband and I never married. I grew up in an era where little girls were to be seen and not heard so I had to learn to stand up for myself and earn my own living.

"Some men don't like that in a woman and before long I was too old to marry anyway."

This story seems a little sad. I bet this lady didn't intend on staying a virgin her whole life. I'm sure she looked around her as everyone she knew was not only having sex, but coupling up and falling in love - and felt somewhat unworthy. I can't believe she wasn't curious enough to pay for it, or drunkenly seduce a friend into doing the deed. Hell, by the time I reached 30 years old, I'd be throwing it at the homeless.

So any volunteers?

2008-10-13T16:24:00.000-07:00

A few weekends ago, Saturday Night Live parodied Mark Wahlberg in a meh-funny skit called Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals. The skit featured Andy Samberg as Wahlberg in a fairly decent impersonation - the longer you watched, the better it got. Now, Cranky Crank and the Whiny bunch (editor's note - lame!) is speaking out.

"Someone showed it to me on YouTube. It wasn't like Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin, that's for sure. And Saturday Night Live hasn't been funny for a long time. They've asked me to do the show a ton of times. I used to watch it when Eddie Murphy was there and Joe Piscopo and Bill Murray. I don't even know who's on the show now"

... then he went back to waxing his chest, producing Entourage, and tag-teaming bitches with Bob Saget.

Bambi voted saddest thing in the world - Lets show children!

2008-10-13T16:13:00.001-07:00

Walt Disney’s Bambi was recently voted the ‘Best Tearjerker’ of all time in an online poll conducted by Pearl and Dean. The infamous moment when Bambi’s mother is killed by hunters (although off-camera) has been making tears since ’42, according to 3,000 film lovers.

Apparently, the animated classic can also be credited for swaying Paul McCartney into vegetarianism.

Also on the list, Ghost starring my favourite sexy ghei-man (not quite fully, but a line’s been crossed) Patrick Swayze; The Lion King; Titanic starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, Steven Spielberg’s ET; Beaches starring Bette Midler and Philadephia starring Tom Hanks.

I'm tired of the Jolie-Pitt clan

2008-10-09T18:36:00.001-07:00

If you were world famous (as in your every move was documented everywhere) but you still craved privacy, would you allow a picture of your equally famous partner breastfeeding your newborn child on the cover of a magazine? Just a thought...

You'll also notice Brad currently has a film in release, while Ange's movie "The Changeling" will be released soon. I've managed to portray this hypocrisy as a mathematical equation: no films = privacy please, films=titties for all!

Maybe Its You...

2008-10-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

Women are not exempt from douchebag status - perfectly illustrated by Lauren Conrad: 'reality'-star, alleged clothing designer, friend-alienator, Brody Jenner-humper, and overall airhead.

Conrad is only 22 years-old, and already owns a $113,000 Audi R8 sports car. Shes also already working on destroying her second best-friendship, this time with Audrina Patridge. Conrad is accused of hooking up with Patridge's on/off boyfriend Justin/Bobby (one person). When will this no-talent simpleton finally realize its not that shes befriend bad people, but that she in turn is the bad friend.

Conrad's first highly-publicized feud was with former bestfriend Heidi Montag.

Poor Hef!

2008-10-09T17:19:00.000-07:00

Geez folks - you know times of rough when you have to foreclose on your hoes.

Turns out, that may be the case with Hugh Hefner, who is reportedly close to bankruptcy. Several sites, including ppppp, are reporting that Hefner has been cutting back on staff to reduce costs, and inviting the public to private Playboy parties. Tickets to the hotbed of clymedia will range in price from $5,000 to $25,000 (expect higher costs if celebs are present).

Even sadder, Hefner and his two main ladies (out of three) have reportedly split up. Kendra Wilkinson and Holly Madison (the main one) have blogged about their recent splits, moving into new apartments, and onto new men. Kendra is reportly dating pro-footballer Hank Baskett, while Holly is seeing magical douchebag, Criss Angel.

In Communist Russia.. Judo kicks you

2008-10-08T19:15:00.000-07:00

Former Russian President/current Russian Prime Minister (and former Judo champion of Leningrad,) Vladimir Putin has released a Judo fighting video called (..wait for it) "Lets Learn Judo with Vladimir Putin". This isn't the first display of Red Machoism; Vlad has been photographed shirtless while fishing, at the wheel of a massive racing truck, shooting a tiger in the Siberian forest, operating a train, sailing on a submarine, and co-piloting a fighter jet!

Apparently, Vlad has become a recent sex symbol due to all these manly pics in the media. I can see why - Vlad is brazen in his complete defiance of traditional norms of male beauty; such as muscles, a full hairline or a neck with a skin tone that matches the rest of his body.

Happy Birthday Hilary Banks

2008-10-08T18:44:00.000-07:00

Today is Karen Parsons' birthday - she is 42 years old!

Parsons' is best known for her role on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, which first aired in 1990.

Parsons' last acting credit was Static Shock in 2002. She is currently working on a series of animated DVDs about notable black heroes.

Since Fresh Prince, Parsons has appeared in such films as the Ladies Man and 13 Moons.

2008-10-07T18:21:00.000-07:00

This joke is funnier if you've heard of LOLcats and LOLspeak. Click to view description.

2008-10-06T19:33:00.000-07:00

Classic Tobias Funke moments for a cold Monday evening.

Lets keep this Reynolds train going...

2008-10-06T19:31:00.000-07:00

Gross and Grosser!

2008-10-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

Sleep tight....

2008-10-06T18:21:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Really? Him?!? A weekly feature where the V examines former sex symbols. On today's chopping block: The man with the original tickler, Burt Reynolds a.k.a. Turd Ferguson.

Burton Leon Reynolds, Jr - born February 11, 1936 in Lasing, Michigan.

Notable roles: Lewis Medlock in Deliverance, Paul Crewe in The Longest Yard, Bo 'Bandit' Darville in Smokey and the Bandit, and Jack Horner in Boogie Nights.

Was he sexy? In addition to spreading on a bear skin rug, Reynolds also appeared in Playgirl magazine, as well as other provocative photos.

Verdict: For a women who spend as much time as I do depilating, my answer is NO. Why would I spend all that time removing hair, just to return it to the same spot?

Click on the photo for a larger version, if you dare... (editor's note - its hard to tell where Turd ends and the bear begins).

Shut Up Gallagher!

2008-10-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

Palin has a limited vocabulary

2008-10-02T19:36:00.000-07:00

DO NOT send in the clowns

2008-10-02T17:46:00.000-07:00

I get it - a naked clown calendar to support a local charity... Its funny, original and generous - but creepy as hell. For those of you who were terrified of clowns growing up, this won't help you sleep either. There's nothing quite like sexualizing child entertainers.

Take a peek...

Because Shes worth it

2008-10-02T17:27:00.000-07:00

Heather Locklear was arrested this weekend for driving under the suspicion of drugs/alcohol.

C'mon Heather... would it kill you to clean yourself up before a mug shot? God knows you have the time to look your best – you’re not working. To help with future mugshots,I’ve compiled a few tips to help Heather and other celebrities look their best in their darkest hour.

1 - Comb your hair, or at least pull it back to cover the roots. I realize times are rough, especially for unemployed actresses who hit their prime MILF-dom in the 90s, but re-negotiate your L’Oreal hair dye contract to include root touch-ups as required

2 - Politely ask for a tissue to remove the crusty eyeliner spoiled by drunken tears at the scene of the crime. Further, prevent drunkenly crying in public unless you consider a TMZ video a comeback.

3 - Try to not look stoned. The dear-caught-in-headlights/Laura Bush perma-expression is a dead-give away of guilt. If need by, focus on a still item in front of you (like the stern judgment of an LA enforcement officer).

4 - It doesn’t hurt to smile (not your career anyway – thats long gone).

Douche of the Week: Michael Buble

2008-09-30T18:30:00.000-07:00

Maybe it was his lame renditions of classic songs already made famous by more talented people. Or maybe it was the fact that he talks a lot of shit for a porky Canadian kid. But most likely it was the rumored infidelity that finally convinced Emily Blunt (Devil Wears Prada, The Jane Austin Book Club) to drop Michael Buble like a fat chick letting lose on a Friday night.

In response to his recent breakup, the 33-year old singer said: "I'll go home and I'll curl up in a ball and I'll cry. I'm not kidding. I'll just cry." DOUCHE BAG!

According to Lainey Gossip, Buble was accused of cheating on Blunt (in her own bed) with another woman who had photographic evidence. And now that he's single, Buble has been gallivanting around town with tons of different women. He probably uses the above mentioned quote as a line on girls - and somehow it works. Which brings me back to this post...

RIP Paul Newman

2008-09-29T20:20:00.000-07:00

(January 26, 1925 – September 26, 2008)

Better Days...

2008-09-29T20:02:00.000-07:00

Do you remember when Amy Winehouse looked like this:

...Cause now she looks like this.

Amy Winehouse is reportedly facing assault charges after punching a fan in the face. The fan allegedly asked for a photograph with the crackie, when she punched her in the face then ran off saying "Life can’t go on. I can’t do this any more"

I have $20 on New Years...

The First Townhall Meeting: On the Subject of Douchebags

2008-09-26T20:48:00.001-07:00

Ok ladies, get a chair... its time we discussed the most recent trend in masculinity: the Douchebag.

When did this phenomena start, and how did the douche gain so much power? Who the hell knows, one thing is for sure: the more you fall for the 'bags' tactics.. the more power they get. So ladies - stop sexing "those guys". This includes sleeping with them, flirting with them, talking to them - or more generally, acknowledging their existence. Its like disciplining a toddler - acknowledging their bad behavior only encourages it. So please, for the good of womanhood - stop fucking those guys!

Check this out: Waxing Ideas

2008-09-26T20:41:00.000-07:00

This hilarious doodle-post comes from The Sneeze. More doodles on the site.

The Thinking Woman's Sex Symbol: Bret McKenzie

2008-09-26T20:12:00.000-07:00

Who: Bret McKenzie, plays "Bret" on Flight of the Conchords (a.k.a. rhymenocerous)
What: Musician, actor, producer, writer and comedian
Where: born 29 June 1976 in New Zealand. Currently lives in LA, although Flight takes place in NY
Why: He's funny, musical and all-over talented - he also loves to dance. Observe the attached video for scientific evidence

2008-09-26T18:20:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Really? Him?!? A weekly feature were the V examines former sex symbols. On today's chopping block: David Bowie.

Ch-ch-changes...

David Bowie - born David Robert Jones on 8 January 1947.

Bowie skyrocketed to fame in '69 with Space Oddity. In '72, he reemerged as Ziggy Stardust - the androgynous, flamboyant and spandex loving glam rocker.

Bowie is also known for declaring his bisexuality, retracting the statement, then reinstating it. He is currently married to supermodel Iman.

So what is it? Is David Bowie sexy....?

Oddly enough, I know tons of women with a thing for David Bowie. My roommate, for one, would love nothing more then a Bowie Tie (which is a pearl necklace with more glitter).

VERDICT: Sexy in an "I'll try anything once" kind of way.

OMG

2008-09-25T17:58:00.000-07:00

I think its about time Aretha retires those spaghetti strap tops - those poor straps must have the structural integrity of the Golden Gate bridge.

Her breasts are so big, if you were to motorboat you'd fall into the abyss and never find your way out of the darkness - which is a better option then pulling your face out of her cleave. The pressure alone would suck your eyeballs out as though you had just taken off your space helmet in an oxygen-free environment (see clip below).

Also, is there a pendant on the end of that necklace? After tonight, it could likely use a good polish. Normally, it takes a hockey team of jacked-up pubescent boys to make a pearl necklace that long.

In a completly unrelated Aiken post

2008-09-23T19:21:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else see it?
(Left: Singer Clay Aiken, Right: Keebler elf)

Breaking (and incredibly obvious) News: The Gayken comes out!

2008-09-23T19:04:00.000-07:00

The least surprising news you've ever heard was release today - Clay Aiken is gay. The singer released the information in an interview with People magazine, saying: "Yes, I'm Gay. I cannot raise a child to lie or hide things."

Aiken appears on the cover with his newborn son, Parker Foster Aiken. Parker was born on August 8 in North Carolina to Aiken's good friend Jaymes Foster, 50.

V Thang's First Douche of the Week!

2008-09-23T18:53:00.000-07:00

With the season premier of Heroes last night, I've decided to give this honorary title to Milo Ventimiglia - actor, music video boyfriend, and child lover. The 31-year-old actor is dating his Heroes co-star Hayden Panettiere. The couple started dating when Hayden was 18, although rumors of their bumping uglies starting while she was still 17... (ewww).

Poor Hayden, Milo is about as sexy as your pervy gym teacher who taps asses a little too much.

Douche of the Century: a John Mayer timeline

2008-09-19T18:32:00.000-07:00

Remember when John Mayer was a sweet and sensitive songwriter? What the hell happened? And how did he manage to conceal his douchiness for so long? Over the last year or so, Mayer's twatty behavior has grown exponentially - observe the following scientific data:

I'm almost proud of him - he managed to concel his love of 'jeggarbombs' and 'banging chicks' long enough to emphasize his romantic artsy side to his legions of fans. Now, all the golden showers in the world couldn't wash this image of JM off for fans.

Sweet Valley high meets Sex and the City

2008-09-19T18:17:00.000-07:00

Candace Bushnell is continuing the Sex and the City franchise with new books aimed at teenagers. The books will be called the Carrie Diaries and will focus on Carrie Bradshaw in high school on her quest to become a famous writer.

I'm not sure if Bushnell plans to write the story in the 80s - the actual decade in which Bradshaw would have attended high school. Hopefully so - otherwise it will be the literary version of gossip girl.

Who is Carrie Bradshaw without the others? If nothing else, Sex and the City was about friendship, the only constant in the tumultuous series about sex and relationships. Which make me wonder who would be in Bradshaw's clique? Below is a clip of Kim Cattrall is the film Porky's - i.e. Samantha Jones in high school.

Lets get personal with Aubrey O'Day

2008-09-18T18:34:00.000-07:00

Aubrey O'Day, a supposed "singer" and friend of Jenna Jameson, mastered the skill of overshare in the new issue of Complex magazine. Some interview gems include:

On her love of porn and period sex -

"I usually watch black guys doing white girls, that’s my little fetish, even though in real life race isn’t a factor for me. Really, I’m more turned on by watching the girls than the guys. I love someone who looks like they’re really into sex"...

"There was some new guy I was dating, and it was the first time we were going to go there, and he was weird about it. So I ask Jenna for advice and she’s like, “Honey, it’s just a little war paint, who cares?”

To be honest with you, I've only ever heard the first 20 seconds of a Danity Kane song - at which point my ears normally bleed until I pass out.

You know how they say a woman's vagina can re-virginize after years of celibacy? For O'Day... we're talking decades. There may even be a logarithim in there.

Another one bites the dust: Poehler to leave SNL

2008-09-17T17:54:00.000-07:00

Amy Poehler recently announced that shes leaving SNL in November after the birth of her first child. Poehler is leaving to dedicate her time to her upcoming projects: The Mighty B and The Office spin off. Hopefully she'll be able to follow in the footsteps of Tiney Fey, Julia-Louise Dreyfus, Jane Curtain and other successful SNL alumni.

According to an article written last year on the Huffington Post; SNL has had 116 cast members over its 32 year history. However, only 36 have been women - and only 20 of those women survived more then one season. Even fewer SNL lady-alumni have graduated to successful post-SNL careers (unlike their male counterparts, of which there are many: Chris Rock, Mike Myers, Chevy Chase, Billy Crystal, Martin Short, Eddie Murphy...) And only 3 have had "Best of ..." DVDs (Gilda Radner, Molly Shannon, Sheri Oteri).

Most likely, Poehler will be successful since she's already off to a good start. Not to mention she gets to go home to that sexy beast Will Arnette every night.